TEACHER:     Why are you late?
            STUDENT:     Class started before I got here.
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            TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find  North America.
            MARIA:        Here it  is.
            TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered  America ?
            CLASS:         Maria.
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            TEACHER:     John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
            JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.
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            TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'  
            GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
            TEACHER:   No, that's wrong
            GLENN:      Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  
            ( I Love this child )
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            TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
            DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
            TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
            DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
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            TEACHER:    Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
            WINNIE:       Me!
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            TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
            GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.  
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            TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
            MILLIE:         I  is...
            TEACHER:     No, Millie... Always say, 'I  am.'
            MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'      
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            TEACHER:     George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?  
            LOUIS:           Because George still had  the axe in his hand...    
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            TEACHER:     Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?  
            SIMON:        No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  
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            TEACHER:        Clyde , your  composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's... Did you copy his?
            CLYDE   :         No, sir. It's the same dog.    
            ( I want to adopt this kid! )  
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            TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested?
            HAROLD:     A teacher
